Cleaner Than Ever

I just got a new vacuum cleaner and washing machine, and I can't get over how much difference it has made. My vacuum cleaner died a while ago, and there was no saving it, so I've been making do. However the new vacuum was worth the wait, it is so awesome, it's 2450 Watts so it's pretty powerful, yet it's really tiny and light. It's no effort to use at all, and it's called a Purple Heart, so it suits me to a tea. :-)

The washing machine is amazing, the old one was still working but it had a number of problems. I didn't realise that having a better washing machine would actually clean the cloths better. This is the first nearly new machine I've ever had, so I had no idea. The washing is cleaner, fluffier, and softer than ever, I'm stunned.

I'm so much happier when I'm cleaning now, I feel like I can do the job properly, Woohoo...

Happy Unbirthday

I've decided once and for all that Unbirthdays are way better than birthdays. It was my birthday yesterday, and it wasn't fun, at all! So I'm all for unbirthdays :-)
At least on unbirthdays I get to celebrate with heaps of other people, rather than alone.
So to everyone who's birthday isn't the 28th November:
A Very Merry Unbirthday to You :-)

Alice in Wonderland (Disney) - Unbirthday Party.

Words for Boobs

My Finance played me this song today, it's so funny, I thought it was worth a mention. The artist Robert Lund has written a parody of the 1980's song "99 Luftballons" called "99 Words for Boobs". It's very well done, and very humorous, but probably not safe for work ;-)

Animé is safe

The happenings over the past week have once again reinforced to me that Animé is safe.

In Japan animé refers to all animation, elsewhere it refers to a subset of animation originating in Japan. A lot of animé is based on manga. Manga is the Japanese word for comics and print cartoons.

What I mean by animé being safe is that the characters never let you down, they will never disappoint you or make human mistakes. It's safe to look up to the main protagonist in a comic book, or an animation. It's safe to treat these heroes as heroes.

Real life heroes turn out to be human. They make mistakes, they disappoint, they let you down.

For as long as I live Goku (The main protagonist in the DragonBall series) will never do something untoward. I will never question the way I think of him. I will never feel disappointment, nor sadness, nor fear from his actions. Humans frequently mess up, they are human after all.

It is safe for children to look up to cartoon heroes. They are less likely to be hurt or do hurtful things to others copying a cartoon hero. Yet real life heroes (especially bad ones) can really badly affect children, even later on in their lives.

Hero worship is a need that most humans seem to have. A need to believe in something greater than ourselves. A need to draw inspiration and faith from someone who's already achieved. A need to compare ourselves, and lives to others.
Yet at least if your hero is an animé hero it is much safer.

Everything is relative

I've been a little out of it lately, a lot has happened I guess. I felt the need to remind myself of how much human society matters in life's scheme, so I decided to look at the Powers of Ten website.

"Powers of Ten explores the relative size of things from the microscopic to the cosmic. The 1977 film travels from an aerial view of a man in a Chicago park to the outer limits of the universe directly above him and back down into the microscopic world contained in the man's hand. Powers of Ten illustrates the universe as an arena of both continuity and change, of everyday picnics and cosmic mystery. The film also demonstrates the Eameses' ability to make science both fascinating and accessible."

The following YouTube videos further explain the Powers of Ten:

This first video is a short film by Charles and Ray Eames for IBM: 'dealing with the relative size of things in the universe, and the effect of adding another zero'.

This video is a clip from the Imax film "Cosmic Voyage" with commentary by Morgan Freeman. It's not very good on the small screen, but you'll get the idea. Also it repeats, yet I didn't mind watching it twice ;)

And lastly the Simpson's opening sequence, a homage to IBM's Powers of Ten.

Of life and death

It happens to us all, the cycle of life catches us up, and we move on. I have been away for the past couple of weeks as a member of my family passed on.
My life has been turned upside down, given a little shake, and the ripples are still being felt.

I've had people around me die before, yet until now; I've never seen death.

It's a strange thing watching as someones body gives out, it changes you. Watching as they take their last breath. Feeling the energy dissipate from the body, leaving a shell. It's unlike anything I imagined. The realisation of how fragile life is, of how important it is to enjoy every moment, hits like a massive wave.

I feel the need to examine what is important, and to clear out the clutter. To have have fun, laugh, dance and sing, after all what else is there?.
I want to get to the end of my life saying "Wooohooo I made it!", not "Oh shit..."

Leave with no regrets...

A Special Announcement

Yesterday Daz and I told his parents that we are getting married. Now that our families know; I want to share it with you all. I am so excited! I couldn't be more happy!

We have a loving and wonderful relationship, and we are best friends. I feel like I can talk to my man about anything! We have never had an argument. We work out any difficulties long before they get to that stage. If we need time to ourselves then we take it. Yet mostly I feel so incredibly comfortable with my baby that we do most things together.

I feel like we complement each other. When we work with each of our individual assets; we become a team. I can conspire with Daz, we make things work, and that is a wonderful and powerful experience. People notice that we are a unit made up of two individuals, and not two individuals.

I know without a doubt in my mind I will be with this man forever!

Pictured at the top are our matching rings. I love them so much. They are made from stainless steel so they will last for many hundreds of years.

Thank you for sharing in our joy!
I LOVE YOU BABY!

Warm Feet

I have been having problems with my feet getting really cold. So today Daz brought me my fist ever pair of slippers. They are so incredibly warm. I can't get over the difference they are making.

I didn't think cold feet could effect so many things. Yet I can actually think more clearly, and I don't feel cold all over. It sounds silly I know, yet it has really made a huge difference.

Daz also brought me my very first pair of Explorer socks. They are amazingly warm and comfy too. They feel like walking on a cloud. It is SO good to feel warm!
Thank you baby :D

Your Are What You Eat

This morning Daz sent me an interesting link: What the World Eats. It has made me really think. Not only about privilege and wealth, but about health, and the effect of our eating habits.

It's disgusting that "the second leading cause of preventable deaths" in the United States is obesity. Yet on the other side of the world people are starving. Problems which could be solved if it wasn't for greed.

I have been wondering what other heath problems could be solved with a balanced and healthy diet? How many people would feel better simply by changing what they eat?

When you go to the Doctors unless you have a broken bone, a cut, or something similar, doctors give you drugs. They don't offer any other options (otherwise they wouldn't get kick backs from the drug companies; How Drug Companies Spin Doctors, Physicians and bribery, Drug Company Corruption Quotations).

I hope this article helps you think as well.
Which extreme do you fit into? The brightly coloured preprocessed packets of the American family, the burlap bag of the family from Chad, or somewhere in between?

HURT by Nine Inch Nails

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Johnny Cash singing Hurt:

A Loss of Wisdom

I've been to the dentist! He pulled out both my right side wisdom teeth. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Actually it didn't hurt as much as the last extraction.

My jaw aches, and there is a bit of a throb, but mostly it's fine. I didn't even feel the dentist pull the bottom one. I had to have 9 injections though, which stung a bit. I feel so much better now.

The dentist was really lovely, and so was the dental nurse. They weren't the same people as last time. He was confident, and cheerful. He wasn't frightened to answer questions, and he seemed up front. I think having a good dentist/doctor (whatever) can make all of the difference!
After all everything is just a perception.

Tooth Begone

I had one of my teeth pulled out yesterday. I feel so much better. Hopefully I should be able to concentrate now. It wasn't so bad, it didn't hurt, however it was very uncomfortable.
I'm glad it's over. I have to go back, but at least I know what to expect now.

Next time I have to get my wisdom teeth out, which should be interesting.

What's been happening?

After setting up my fathers computer, I have been busy breaking and rebuilding my system. I was playing around with FreeBSD's compatibility/emulation code on my main system. Silly I know... When everything broke I figured the easiest fix would be a reinstall. Not that I mind, I enjoy playing with FreeBSD.

My newly reinstalled system, is up and running. I just have to configure everything. I am going to create my own install disk. It would make life heaps easier. Hopefully there will be information on it somewhere.

My teeth are way worse, my face is all swollen up. I went to the dentist, and she gave me antibiotics to stop the infection.
On the 18th I have to go and have the first one pulled out. I'm so looking forward to the experience... NOT!
But it has to be done.
The pain is beyond a joke, I can't concentrate at all any more. The antibiotics are making me feel very ill. Yet I know in a couple of days I should feel heaps better.

It's so bloody cold here at the moment. Last night I slept with my scarf and beanie on. I think the cold is why people don't do anything in Tassie. People tend not to want to do anything in this weather. Plus also it costs a fortune to heat your house. You try not to turn the heater up and use the power, while trying to stay warm. Warmth is usually the thing that suffers.

We only have 2 rooms with heating. If you want to venture into other areas of the house then three jumpers, a beanie and scarf are needed. It is ridiculous, I want to move somewhere warm.

The Word For Today Is: PAIN

Pain has taken over my life for the past 3-4 days. First I hurt myself weight lifting, then I got a tooth ache. So things have not been fun at all. Pain takes so much away from you, it is hard to think properly, let alone complete tasks. It makes you feel tired, and everything is confusing and very frustrating.

Weight Lifting
I have been doing weight training for a bit over two months. I am loving it, I have lost heaps of weight, and I am starting to develop some muscle. I will admit I didn't think I would like weight lifting. I don't particularly like big muscles on women. Yet I have found that it is not quite as simple as that. Basically I can choose how I am going to look by the types of exercises I do, and the way I do them.

Over the past few of days I have been writing myself a workout routine. It is my first ever attempt. Until now I've been learning different exercises, and using light weights to practice my form.

Creating a routine turned out to be harder than I thought. It is hard firstly because you need to take into account all of the major muscle groups, and try not to over do any one area. I made a classic newbie mistake, because I made a long hard routine, which of course hurt me so much that I haven't been able to lift weights for two days.

I have modified my workout now, and hopefully today I should be able to easily complete one circuit.

My Tooth Ache
The problem with my teeth is a small and simple one. It has been going on for weeks now, but the last couple of days have been unbearable. This tooth ache could be easily fixed if I had any money. I hate money so incredibly much.

I can't really eat or drink anything, which is probably adding to my state of confusion and exhaustion. So I am sitting here right now, tying to drink a coffee without sugar. It hurts even without the sugar, but I need something in me. I can handle many types of pain, but this is just nuts.

I should start a "fix my teeth fund", where people can donate money for me to get my teeth fixed. :)
The worst thing is, I feel horrible for complaining because my partners teeth are way worse than mine.

Dental health is a national problem, which you can see from the following; Dental health in decay, Figures highlight dentist shortage in Tas, Holes in dental health, Vic dental waiting lists hit five years, Sick to the back teeth.

Therefore we certainly are not the only people here in Australia with dental problems. The problems with the health system here do not end with the dental sector. I can't even get into see a G.P. here. I think that is disgusting.
Anyway enough of my rant for today. Have a good one :)

The view from the back of a police car

Riding in the back of a police car is not a pass time I usually involve myself in. However today I found myself looking at the world from that backseat. It is a very interesting view.
I wasn't in any trouble, a car had been parked over my driveway, and a lovely young Sergeant Fox offered me and my partner Daz a lift into the city.

Daz joked to the Sergeant that he should drive past the neighbors house a few times. He reckons they would shake their heads and say "See I was right about him, he's no good that one."

I will admit I have been in the back of a police car before, but I was wearing police issue jewelry and I was in a little more trouble. It was very different being in one for no reason.

I forgot for a while that we were in a police car. Suddenly the blue and white flashed in the reflection of a shop window, it was a very strange feeling!

It amazed me how many people looked at us like moral delinquents. I didn't notice it until we were driving into the city. Suddenly some people were straining their heads to see who was in the car.

It was fun riding in a police car for no reason.
Thank you Sergeant Fox for making my day way more interesting!

Veronica, you will be greatly missed

It has been exactly one month since Veronica died. She used to live next door to me, a lovely old lady, whom I always got along with really well. I felt a sense of happiness and peace for her when she moved on. Her last few years were certainly not happy ones. Veronica was 87 years old when she died.

There have been many occasions when Ronnie (as I always called her) and I would sit and chat. She was such a wise, and knowledgeable person. Yet over and over again I watched people not listen to her, not let her finish what she was saying. Yes it took her a long time to say things, but that didn't mean that what she said was irrelevant. To often we listen to the way something is said instead of what is said.

Ronnie shared with me many stories, stories of how her father looked after her when she was a little girl, he would by her dolls and dresses, and make sure that she always looked pretty.
She explained the dances they used to have in such detail, I felt as though I was there. She told me how the boys had to sit on the other side of the hall, and how the girls would giggle and joke about the boys, and how they would dance the night away. She told me about the dresses they would wear, covered in lace, and trinkets. Her daddy chose her an army man to marry. She said that he looked so handsome in his uniform. Stories of her girlfriends, and her family, where many.

Most of the other things that we discussed where current events. Yet I wanted everyone that reads my blog to know about Ronnie, that she was here, that she enriched my life, and now that she has moved on I hope that she has found the peace and love that she was searching for.
Thank you Ronnie!

Instant Family

Well I have been very busy these past few weeks, mostly learning what it is like to be a step mum. My partner Daz has five children, ranging in age from nine to nineteen.
Lately the eldest three have been around dad lots. Therefore I have found myself a parent to teenagers: instant family.

Three weeks ago Daz's eldest daughter arrived on the door step with her boyfriend from Melbourne (where they are currently living). They had no where to stay and Megan wanted to spend time with her daddy.
So for 23 days they stayed here. I had no idea how much looking after two teenagers take. How much money, time and energy goes into keeping them. It was worse when other brothers and sisters arrived. I have a deeper understanding of parenthood, and what parents go through. I have learned more than I could have imagined, especially about myself.
I am glad I get along well with the three children I have met. Hopefully I will get along as well with the younger two.

It's funny I never expected to be a step mum. I knew that Daz had five children, and I excepted that a long time ago. I however hadn't realised that I would be called a step mum, or treated as such. I thought that I would be more of a friend. Dealing with adults, not a maternal figure dealing with children. I didn't think I would learn and grow so much, or that they could teach me so much.
I'm very grateful to have these children in my life.

A Wonderful Night

I have just came home from such a wonderful night. My baby took me out for tea, then we went for a drive. First we went up above the city and looked down over the entire place. It was an amazing site. I had forgotten just how small Launceston is.

We stopped by the water, but there was people there so we moved on. Then my baby drove us all the way to the other side of town, which if you know Launceston is not very far!

We drove down to the casino and went for a walk around the golf course, fountains, and the man-made lake. We talked and walked, and discussed what it would be like to be wealthy. Watched the wallabies jumping over the greens, and the possums climbing the trees. It was such a beautiful place, and so large. It is hard to believe that it is so close to the city.

Then we wondered back to the car, and drove towards home, with my baby pointed out features, and showing me things as we went. We both watched a massive shooting star (or more technically; grit from space colliding with air molecules high up in the sky at very high speed) as we drove. It was magickal, and inspiring.

My night was so wonderful, I enjoyed it so very much that I just had to share it with you all. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful caring man. Thank you babe.

I hope everyone in the world has a wonderful moment in their day/night too. Even if only for a brief second.

Still craving a cigarette after 6 months

It has been 6 months and 5 days since my partner and I gave up smoking. I honestly didn't conceive of it being so difficult. For some reason I thought that I could give up at anytime and it wouldn't even bother me. I was very wrong!

I had tried to give up in the past, yet my effort had never been past the first day. Due to the fact my father would go and buy me a packet every time I tried to give up. Therefore I had no idea how hard it was going to be. It was no big deal to smoke when I was younger. At the time I gave up I had been smoking for 15 years, at around 40 cigarettes a day.

I thought that after the initial couple of days of cravings I would be getting along just fine, and would never want a cigarette again, oh how wrong I was. After the first couple of weeks of cravings, of feeling very sick, and having a weird symptoms, I entered the next couple of weeks of more cravings, weird things coming out of my skin, and more feeling sick.
I no longer felt as tired and down all the time, and my energy levels sky rocketed. Sleeping was short, and filled with strange dreams/nightmares. I suddenly felt a new appreciation for so many things, especially the cleanliness of my home. Everything I did and felt was different, it felt like things were no longer going through the cigarette filter.
Yet some of this subsided in the 2nd month of giving up. I can't believe how hard the tobacco companies had me. I was truly hooked, and it was effecting my life in ways I could not have imagined. I am not sure that I still know how badly these drugs/chemicals have effected my brain, and general health.

I still have cravings today, 6 months later. I watched my partners son having a smoke today, and it drove me around the bend. I had to stop myself several times asking him for just one smoke. This is not a nice feeling, in fact it was a down right awful feeling. I can't believe how much just looking at his empty packet in the rubbish bin effected me.

My advice to anyone who wants to give up, go for it! You will feel so much better in the long run. Cigarettes are far worse for you, and effect you in many more ways than you could possibly imagine. I'm sure that the ways that tobacco companies target exact parts of the brain, and how these chemicals really effect you will come out eventually, yet for the time being please please be careful.

A Salute To Billy Thorpe

A salute to you Billy Thorpe, may you rest in peace. May your journey continue. My deepest condolences to the Thorpe family.

Australian rock icon Billy Thorpe has died after suffering a massive heart attack at his Sydney home in the early hours of this morning. SBS World News

His music touched the hearts and minds of so many, bringing a new style of music to Australians ears. He inspired me and many of his songs have influenced my own music for many years. He shall be very missed.

Thank you for all that you have brought to this life Billy!