A Loss of Wisdom

I've been to the dentist! He pulled out both my right side wisdom teeth. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Actually it didn't hurt as much as the last extraction.

My jaw aches, and there is a bit of a throb, but mostly it's fine. I didn't even feel the dentist pull the bottom one. I had to have 9 injections though, which stung a bit. I feel so much better now.

The dentist was really lovely, and so was the dental nurse. They weren't the same people as last time. He was confident, and cheerful. He wasn't frightened to answer questions, and he seemed up front. I think having a good dentist/doctor (whatever) can make all of the difference!
After all everything is just a perception.

Tooth Begone

I had one of my teeth pulled out yesterday. I feel so much better. Hopefully I should be able to concentrate now. It wasn't so bad, it didn't hurt, however it was very uncomfortable.
I'm glad it's over. I have to go back, but at least I know what to expect now.

Next time I have to get my wisdom teeth out, which should be interesting.

What's been happening?

After setting up my fathers computer, I have been busy breaking and rebuilding my system. I was playing around with FreeBSD's compatibility/emulation code on my main system. Silly I know... When everything broke I figured the easiest fix would be a reinstall. Not that I mind, I enjoy playing with FreeBSD.

My newly reinstalled system, is up and running. I just have to configure everything. I am going to create my own install disk. It would make life heaps easier. Hopefully there will be information on it somewhere.

My teeth are way worse, my face is all swollen up. I went to the dentist, and she gave me antibiotics to stop the infection.
On the 18th I have to go and have the first one pulled out. I'm so looking forward to the experience... NOT!
But it has to be done.
The pain is beyond a joke, I can't concentrate at all any more. The antibiotics are making me feel very ill. Yet I know in a couple of days I should feel heaps better.

It's so bloody cold here at the moment. Last night I slept with my scarf and beanie on. I think the cold is why people don't do anything in Tassie. People tend not to want to do anything in this weather. Plus also it costs a fortune to heat your house. You try not to turn the heater up and use the power, while trying to stay warm. Warmth is usually the thing that suffers.

We only have 2 rooms with heating. If you want to venture into other areas of the house then three jumpers, a beanie and scarf are needed. It is ridiculous, I want to move somewhere warm.

The Word For Today Is: PAIN

Pain has taken over my life for the past 3-4 days. First I hurt myself weight lifting, then I got a tooth ache. So things have not been fun at all. Pain takes so much away from you, it is hard to think properly, let alone complete tasks. It makes you feel tired, and everything is confusing and very frustrating.

Weight Lifting
I have been doing weight training for a bit over two months. I am loving it, I have lost heaps of weight, and I am starting to develop some muscle. I will admit I didn't think I would like weight lifting. I don't particularly like big muscles on women. Yet I have found that it is not quite as simple as that. Basically I can choose how I am going to look by the types of exercises I do, and the way I do them.

Over the past few of days I have been writing myself a workout routine. It is my first ever attempt. Until now I've been learning different exercises, and using light weights to practice my form.

Creating a routine turned out to be harder than I thought. It is hard firstly because you need to take into account all of the major muscle groups, and try not to over do any one area. I made a classic newbie mistake, because I made a long hard routine, which of course hurt me so much that I haven't been able to lift weights for two days.

I have modified my workout now, and hopefully today I should be able to easily complete one circuit.

My Tooth Ache
The problem with my teeth is a small and simple one. It has been going on for weeks now, but the last couple of days have been unbearable. This tooth ache could be easily fixed if I had any money. I hate money so incredibly much.

I can't really eat or drink anything, which is probably adding to my state of confusion and exhaustion. So I am sitting here right now, tying to drink a coffee without sugar. It hurts even without the sugar, but I need something in me. I can handle many types of pain, but this is just nuts.

I should start a "fix my teeth fund", where people can donate money for me to get my teeth fixed. :)
The worst thing is, I feel horrible for complaining because my partners teeth are way worse than mine.

Dental health is a national problem, which you can see from the following; Dental health in decay, Figures highlight dentist shortage in Tas, Holes in dental health, Vic dental waiting lists hit five years, Sick to the back teeth.

Therefore we certainly are not the only people here in Australia with dental problems. The problems with the health system here do not end with the dental sector. I can't even get into see a G.P. here. I think that is disgusting.
Anyway enough of my rant for today. Have a good one :)

The view from the back of a police car

Riding in the back of a police car is not a pass time I usually involve myself in. However today I found myself looking at the world from that backseat. It is a very interesting view.
I wasn't in any trouble, a car had been parked over my driveway, and a lovely young Sergeant Fox offered me and my partner Daz a lift into the city.

Daz joked to the Sergeant that he should drive past the neighbors house a few times. He reckons they would shake their heads and say "See I was right about him, he's no good that one."

I will admit I have been in the back of a police car before, but I was wearing police issue jewelry and I was in a little more trouble. It was very different being in one for no reason.

I forgot for a while that we were in a police car. Suddenly the blue and white flashed in the reflection of a shop window, it was a very strange feeling!

It amazed me how many people looked at us like moral delinquents. I didn't notice it until we were driving into the city. Suddenly some people were straining their heads to see who was in the car.

It was fun riding in a police car for no reason.
Thank you Sergeant Fox for making my day way more interesting!

Veronica, you will be greatly missed

It has been exactly one month since Veronica died. She used to live next door to me, a lovely old lady, whom I always got along with really well. I felt a sense of happiness and peace for her when she moved on. Her last few years were certainly not happy ones. Veronica was 87 years old when she died.

There have been many occasions when Ronnie (as I always called her) and I would sit and chat. She was such a wise, and knowledgeable person. Yet over and over again I watched people not listen to her, not let her finish what she was saying. Yes it took her a long time to say things, but that didn't mean that what she said was irrelevant. To often we listen to the way something is said instead of what is said.

Ronnie shared with me many stories, stories of how her father looked after her when she was a little girl, he would by her dolls and dresses, and make sure that she always looked pretty.
She explained the dances they used to have in such detail, I felt as though I was there. She told me how the boys had to sit on the other side of the hall, and how the girls would giggle and joke about the boys, and how they would dance the night away. She told me about the dresses they would wear, covered in lace, and trinkets. Her daddy chose her an army man to marry. She said that he looked so handsome in his uniform. Stories of her girlfriends, and her family, where many.

Most of the other things that we discussed where current events. Yet I wanted everyone that reads my blog to know about Ronnie, that she was here, that she enriched my life, and now that she has moved on I hope that she has found the peace and love that she was searching for.
Thank you Ronnie!

Instant Family

Well I have been very busy these past few weeks, mostly learning what it is like to be a step mum. My partner Daz has five children, ranging in age from nine to nineteen.
Lately the eldest three have been around dad lots. Therefore I have found myself a parent to teenagers: instant family.

Three weeks ago Daz's eldest daughter arrived on the door step with her boyfriend from Melbourne (where they are currently living). They had no where to stay and Megan wanted to spend time with her daddy.
So for 23 days they stayed here. I had no idea how much looking after two teenagers take. How much money, time and energy goes into keeping them. It was worse when other brothers and sisters arrived. I have a deeper understanding of parenthood, and what parents go through. I have learned more than I could have imagined, especially about myself.
I am glad I get along well with the three children I have met. Hopefully I will get along as well with the younger two.

It's funny I never expected to be a step mum. I knew that Daz had five children, and I excepted that a long time ago. I however hadn't realised that I would be called a step mum, or treated as such. I thought that I would be more of a friend. Dealing with adults, not a maternal figure dealing with children. I didn't think I would learn and grow so much, or that they could teach me so much.
I'm very grateful to have these children in my life.

A Wonderful Night

I have just came home from such a wonderful night. My baby took me out for tea, then we went for a drive. First we went up above the city and looked down over the entire place. It was an amazing site. I had forgotten just how small Launceston is.

We stopped by the water, but there was people there so we moved on. Then my baby drove us all the way to the other side of town, which if you know Launceston is not very far!

We drove down to the casino and went for a walk around the golf course, fountains, and the man-made lake. We talked and walked, and discussed what it would be like to be wealthy. Watched the wallabies jumping over the greens, and the possums climbing the trees. It was such a beautiful place, and so large. It is hard to believe that it is so close to the city.

Then we wondered back to the car, and drove towards home, with my baby pointed out features, and showing me things as we went. We both watched a massive shooting star (or more technically; grit from space colliding with air molecules high up in the sky at very high speed) as we drove. It was magickal, and inspiring.

My night was so wonderful, I enjoyed it so very much that I just had to share it with you all. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful caring man. Thank you babe.

I hope everyone in the world has a wonderful moment in their day/night too. Even if only for a brief second.

Fanging Out On Flies

I recently found a new hobby; growing succulents, carnivorous plants and cacti. I have always been a bit of a brown thumb, with plants dieing all around me. Yet my partner and I got a cutting from a succulent and so far it has grown really well (Pictured left 29-12-06.)





A few days ago my man brought me an addition to my new hobby; a fly trap pictured below. I brought him the Old man Oscar, also pictured below. He loves cacti, and carnivorous plants too.

I am so proud of my trap he caught 3 flies today! He hadn't caught any until today. So I am so happy. Can you see the fly in the trap?:

Still craving a cigarette after 6 months

It has been 6 months and 5 days since my partner and I gave up smoking. I honestly didn't conceive of it being so difficult. For some reason I thought that I could give up at anytime and it wouldn't even bother me. I was very wrong!

I had tried to give up in the past, yet my effort had never been past the first day. Due to the fact my father would go and buy me a packet every time I tried to give up. Therefore I had no idea how hard it was going to be. It was no big deal to smoke when I was younger. At the time I gave up I had been smoking for 15 years, at around 40 cigarettes a day.

I thought that after the initial couple of days of cravings I would be getting along just fine, and would never want a cigarette again, oh how wrong I was. After the first couple of weeks of cravings, of feeling very sick, and having a weird symptoms, I entered the next couple of weeks of more cravings, weird things coming out of my skin, and more feeling sick.
I no longer felt as tired and down all the time, and my energy levels sky rocketed. Sleeping was short, and filled with strange dreams/nightmares. I suddenly felt a new appreciation for so many things, especially the cleanliness of my home. Everything I did and felt was different, it felt like things were no longer going through the cigarette filter.
Yet some of this subsided in the 2nd month of giving up. I can't believe how hard the tobacco companies had me. I was truly hooked, and it was effecting my life in ways I could not have imagined. I am not sure that I still know how badly these drugs/chemicals have effected my brain, and general health.

I still have cravings today, 6 months later. I watched my partners son having a smoke today, and it drove me around the bend. I had to stop myself several times asking him for just one smoke. This is not a nice feeling, in fact it was a down right awful feeling. I can't believe how much just looking at his empty packet in the rubbish bin effected me.

My advice to anyone who wants to give up, go for it! You will feel so much better in the long run. Cigarettes are far worse for you, and effect you in many more ways than you could possibly imagine. I'm sure that the ways that tobacco companies target exact parts of the brain, and how these chemicals really effect you will come out eventually, yet for the time being please please be careful.